At Least You Have A Healthy Baby. . . . .

Peaceful Parenting asked a question this past week about trauma and C Section. The fact that 'trauma' and 'C Section' is going hand in hand is a major problem with me. I'm sure that these physicians 'mean well.' But they are fucking women up.

I've been having abdominal pain on my right lower/mid quadrant. Being that I don't have a gallbladder, I knew it was adhesions or appendix. So I went to my GP to rule out appendicitis. We talked about my history and he was very respectful of it. He apologized when he found out what happened to me, which means loads. I told him I was working with a Therapist about the PTSD and he wanted me to walk him threw the surgery.

His first major problem: If I was in pain, the anesthesiologist should of done something. He would of known by my BP and pulse that I wasn't okay.

And I wasn't. Hubs when I told him that said 'you weren't okay. He (the Anesthesiologist) would ask you if you were in pain and you would scream out 'yes.' Then he would drop something into your line and you kept screaming. . . . Everyone else just kept telling you to calm down.'

. . .calm down.

I'm being gutted awake and you want me to calm down. Does no one see the problem with that?! A person is in pain and they tell them to 'calm down.' My pain was never helped until my son was born, so how was I supposed to know he 'tried' to help me?

Needless to say I lost it, I just screamed out in pain as I sobbed, waking my son. My poor Little Man who hasn't had a nap all day because we went from Doctors office to lab (for blood work) to radiology to try and schedule an ultrasound.

My GP said 'you've been threw enough' and when he requested the ultrasound stated it should not be Trans Vaginal, he was afraid it would be too much for me to handle.Have I mentioned I love him?

Blood draw: I was supposed to go to a different draw site, but the hospital worked around it. They sent me to radiology to schedule my ultrasound and then come back and be drawn.

I was wearing Little Man at the time and we trucked over to make the appointment. I had a small glass of water I was drinking that I got from the lab. Because of all the crazyness, that was the only thing I had eaten or drank.

She gave me a hard time, telling me that this ultrasound would have to be done on two diffrent days because he wanted a pelvic and an abdominal series. I was all 'wtf' in my mind. She told me I would have to fast for over 12 hours, I told her I couldn't do that. I couldn't.

So she got snippity with me and said 'then go.'

Eventually she got the ultrasounds scheduled, I am calling her supervisor tomorrow to see if it can't all be done on one visit as one needs me to have 40 oz of water in my belly (what a nice round number. . .) and the other needs to be fasting. So why can't I just drink water and go and have the first one done, pee and then do the next round!? She wanted us to be there for 4 hours! With a baby!? At a hospital?! I'd flip out. He'd flip out. Is she insane?!

Then I said 'I'm sorry you think I'm being difficult, I'm a trauma survivor I'm trying to make this easier.' THEN her attitude changed.

Why is it if I was a normal person with no history of any trauma (which is fucking unlikely as everyone has their problems) I'm treated as if I'm a bother? Why can't we just care for one another? I'm sure working in a hospital you see horrible things, but shouldn't you be more sympathetic to your patients??

So I left with two appointments for ONE ultrasound, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around, and promptly cried the whole way home.

With the ultrasound they will more then likely rule out appendicitis, which means I was left with scarring from adhesions from my C Section. The only way to really diagnose it would be laposcopric surgery at which point they would repair the damage. My GP also wants to be sure that there isn't a twisted or blockage on my bowels.

. . ..but hey. . ..at least I have a healthy baby.