Moving Sucks

I've been moving for the last few weeks. I wouldn't necessarily call it 'moving' so much as either throwing all my shit out or packing it away.

Those of you who aren't in the loop, my family is one of 11 million families. We are loosing our home to foreclosure. This is one of the most humbling experiences I have ever gone threw in my life. Yes, that is including the birth of my son. If I had to choose, I'd go threw this a 100 times before ever going threw that birth again.

We signed the papers to put our home on the market and try and get a buyer, but this isn't a good market, so who knows what will happen. Hopefully we'll be able to short sale and not foreclose, but at this point I just want it over.

Thankfully the move has been keeping me busy and I have only had three panic attacks. One was at the hospital, we went to visit friends who had twins. I left when the Father bragged that his 5lb 1 oz baby boy didn't cry at all while being circumcised. Those of you who don't know, I really have issues with circumcision. I think RIC (ritual infant circumcision) shouldn't happen, it should be the man's choice when they are legal age.  That isn't the law here in the US, but it's something I firmly believe.

After leaving the hospital I cried for a bit, then I was over it.

That weekend I finally decided to go to my GP. I've been having bad pain in my right side. I don't have a gallbladder so I deduced it was either my appendix or adhesions. I went to see him, Dr. O, and he was so unbelievably understanding.

We had a long conversation about my surgery (my sons birth) and he was in shock such things happened to me. He said at no time should I have ever been restrained and if I said no or stop, given my history, they should of done so. He also reaffirmed my beliefs, 'if you want surgery, go to a surgeon. If you want a birth, find a midwife.'

After leaving there I went and scheduled an ultrasound and had bloodwork pulled.

My CBC came back normal with slightly elevated white bloodcell count.

My ultrasounds: Pelvic was fine, everything was normal.
                         Abdomen: not okay.

My spleen was enlarged, my bile duct was dilated and I had fat deposits on my liver. Also Dr. O mentioned that my internal organs were all 'smooshed' together, they didn't look right.

Great.

Could be a ton of things. The three that stuck out at me was Celiac, cancer and stuck gall stone. Thankfully my white blood cell count was only slightly elevated (it was 11.4 and I think norm is 10.5?) which would rule out cancer. If it was cancer, my white blood cell count would be much higher. Celiac fits. So does the stuck gallstone.

Needless to say, I'm still having pain on my right side (nothing severe) and the earliest I can be seen by my gastric is . . .are you ready for this? January 4th, 2011.

At that point in time we'll probably repeat the ultrasound and schedule a CT and possibly do either an endo or colonoscopy. I'm still breastfeeding and I plan to still be at that point in time, so . . .we'll see what happens. I need to ask some smart mama's about all this.

I also am thinking about being interviewed for an article about healing from birth trauma. I'm not really sure if I should, being that I'm not healed. But we'll see.

Might be good for me.