I didn't meet the real 'physician' that calls herself 'Dr. Amy' but I could have.
I've been suffering from infertility for going on four years now. And while I'm blessed enough to have my beautiful son, I have 11 angel babies. Eleven.
I've gone looking (once again) for infertility help. I was always prepared that OBGYN's would be anti homebirth because, you know, we all have exploding uteruses and we need to be medically managed. I was never prepared for what happened to me today.
I called this fertility practice and got good vibes from them. The woman who answered the phones was nice and helpful. Receptive, she knew what RPL was.
We went in and talked to them today.
The doctor came out and greeted us personally and took us back. She said I was 'an unusual case' and asked if a med student could sit in and observe.
We started going over my history.
Started trying to conceive in 2007, had miscarriages in December 07, April 08, and October 08 the previous two with bloodwork.
At that point in time I had infertility testing done, tested for MTHR and a ultrasound with saline done. Endometrial biopsy done as well. At that point in time they threw clomid at me to see if it would work. I got pregnant on the second cycle, I made it to seven weeks where the heartbeat slowed (I was pregnant with twins, but lost one because it was a blighted ovum.) They asked to schedule a D&C to which I declined because there was still a heartbeat. After the heart stopped, I requested a secondary ultrasound to confirm fetal demise. I was given cytotec and told to go home and take it. I googled cytotec and found the side effects and flushed it down the toilet and I miscarried on my own.
I harvested the baby that survived and brought it in for genetic testing. They never did genetic testing on the baby. They threw it out.
I told this "Dr." that I wasn't comfortable with my method of care in this situation and she didn't seem phased.
After that miscarriage, I conceived naturally with twins. I ovulated on both sides. One was, once again, a blighted ovum. The other, Twin A, survived to become my only living son.
She went on to ask about my pregnancy with my son. If it was eventful and how his birth and life thus far were.
I told her about my section and that I had PTSD from my sons birth. He had FTT and once we eliminated gluten he gained weight. We gave donor milk. I had Ceilac disease.
She asked how I knew I had Celiac, and I told her that I had the genetic markers for Celiac, that my gastrointestinal doctor made that distinction. While the genetic markers is not the 'gold standard' it is 98% accurate and with my symptoms it was a slam dunk.
The "Dr." then said that it has been thought that Celiac and miscarriages go hand in hand. I said I wasn't surprised that my gastric doc believed that as well.
She then asked me where I planned to birth, what hospital. I answered her honestly. At home.
She said that a VBAC at home was dangerous. That I would be risking MY life and the BABY's life and that she was refusing treatment.
I looked at Lou, my husband, and said: "She is punishing me for not lying."
She said she wasn't. I said she was. If I had lied, we wouldn't be here. She told me that sections were needed and they saved lives. There was no such thing as an 'unnessacary' section. She actually used air quotes when she said that. She said uterine rupture was DANGEROUS and catastrophic. She played the dead baby card more then once and said if '9,000 sections are preformed and it only saves ONE life, that is okay.'
I then realized that she and I were never going to see eye to eye and that this was not the care provider I needed, so I fired back with these facts.
She said .07% of a chance is still too high.
I then asked her about circumcision, because SURELY if she was so against even ONE baby dying due to uterine rupture she would be against circumcision which kills over 200 babies a year. I wasn't surprised when she defended the practice of circumcision. She did say it was a cultural and religious right, and that it was cosmetic surgery, but it was the parents choice, not the babes. She also said that 'everything kills babies. Babies just die.'
She touted potential benefits of circumcision (which her numbers were WAY off, she claimed that it 90% of the time prevented transmission of AIDS and STDS) and then I brought up ambiotic fluid embolism.
Something that we can ALL agree is caused by the medical establishment.
She got upset and claimed that it was very rare, I asked as rare as uterine rupture? And this is when Lou said 'we're leaving.'
We left. I got my chart.
We walked out and I was MAD. FUMING. And I sobbed.
And sobbed.
And sobbed.
I cried for the baby I was loosing right now.
I cried for the hope that she would of helped me.
I cried for the women she would hurt.
I cried for the hope that I lost. The injustice that was happening. I cried because Doctors like her say 'it's okay if I kill someone. But it's NOT okay if you do."
I'm still crying. Crushed hopes. Crushed chances. And all because I refused to lie. I refused to mislead my care provider.
. .. .. . .I guess I should get better at lying.
